Disclaimer: This post is from , a satirical site about healthcare.
The CDC released new guidelines this week that include a "duct tape mask" for Mehmet Oz, MD -- television's "Dr. Oz" -- to wear. "These new guidelines should have been in place years ago," the agency's Stephanie Harper, MD, told reporters. "We're hoping to significantly slow down the spread of false information."
Oz, a cardiothoracic surgeon before he became a television personality, now offers his expertise on the coronavirus and the economy. Each on their own would take years to master but he has read "a couple of studies" and is now in a position to advise policymakers and the public.
"False information has become possibly our biggest obstacle in fighting the outbreak, and Dr. Oz is now part of the problem," Harper explained further. "The best way to solve it is duct tape, the good stuff."
Oz's when he said, "I tell you, schools are a very appetizing opportunity [to start opening the economy]," adding that resuming classes, according to his reading of a recent medical journal analysis, "may only cost us 2% to 3% in terms of total mortality."